The Great Van der Linde Talent Show

It started with Dutch van der Linde's grand idea one rain-soaked evening in Clemens Point. "We need morale, my friends! A celebration of our... talents!" he declared, standing on a crate as the gang huddled under tarps. "Tomorrow night, we shall have a talent show!"

Arthur Morgan groaned, leaning against a tree. "A talent show? Dutch, we're outlaws, not circus performers."

"Nonsense, Arthur! Every one of us has a hidden gift. It's time we share them with the family."

Micah Bell snickered. "I got plenty of talents, Dutch. Mostly involving shootin' and... other things."

"That's enough, Micah," Susan Grimshaw snapped, stirring a pot. "I'll coordinate the acts. No weapons, no violence. This is about unity."

The next day, the camp buzzed with bizarre preparations. Mary-Beth Gaskill practiced reciting poetry, while Tilly Jackson hummed a folk tune. Javier Escuella tuned his guitar, and Sean MacGuire attempted to juggle three potatoes, dropping them repeatedly. "It's harder than it looks!" he protested.

Bill Williamson decided to demonstrate his strength by bending a horseshoe—but only managed to turn it into a pretzel shape. "Close enough," he grunted.

Charles Smith, ever the stoic, planned to carve a wooden figurine. "It's not entertaining, but it's honest work," he said.

Abigail Marston rolled her eyes as John practiced a dramatic reading from a dime novel. "You sound like a dying goat," she said. John scowled. "It's called 'acting,' Abigail."

Even Uncle got involved, claiming he'd perform a "legendary dance" from his youth. "It'll knock your socks off!" he promised, though he immediately pulled a muscle and limped off.

Kieran Duffy nervously practiced whistling, but it came out as a squeak. "Maybe I'll just... help behind the scenes," he mumbled.

As evening fell, Dutch set up a makeshift stage with lanterns. The entire gang gathered, including the O'Driscoll prisoner Kieran had befriended—though Colm O'Driscoll himself was nowhere near, much to everyone's relief.

"Welcome to the First Annual Van der Linde Talent Show!" Dutch boomed. "Let us begin with... Miss Mary-Beth Gaskill!"

Mary-Beth stepped forward, clutching a crumpled paper. She recited a poem about a lonely daisy on a hillside. Halfway through, Sean shouted, "Get to the part where the cow eats it!" Mary-Beth flushed and stormed off.

Next, Javier played a passionate Spanish guitar piece, but Micah kept making "bullfight" noises, ruining the mood. "Encore!" Micah yelled sarcastically. Javier shot him a glare.

Then it was Bill's turn. He grabbed the twisted horseshoe and tried to bend it back, grunting so loudly that his face turned purple. The horseshoe snapped in half, and Bill stumbled back, knocking over a lantern. Fortunately, no fire started, but Susan whacked him with a ladle.

"Get off the stage!" she barked.

Charles showed his carving—a small deer. Everyone clapped politely. "Very nice, Charles," said Tilly. "But can you do a bear?" Charles sighed.

Sean's juggling act ended with a potato hitting Uncle in the groin. Uncle collapsed, groaning. "That's it, I'm out!" he yelled.

Micah took the stage next, despite Susan's protests. He did a crude rendition of a dance from Saint Denis, which mainly involved leering at the women. Karen Jones threw a boot at him. "Get off!"

Then came John's dramatic reading. He opened the dime novel and bellowed, "In the heart of the wilderness, a lone gunslinger faced his destiny!" But he got tongue-tied and read, "In the heart of a gunslinger, a lone wilderness faced his destiny!" Everyone burst out laughing, including Arthur, who couldn't help a snort. John threw the book down. "I'm done."

Abigail stepped up last—to sing a lullaby she used for Jack. Her voice was surprisingly sweet. Even Micah shut up. When she finished, Dutch wiped a tear (fake, probably). "Beautiful! Just beautiful!"

But the highlight came when Hosea, who had been oddly quiet, finally took the stage. "I've been saving this," he said, pulling out a deck of cards. He performed card tricks with such skill that even skeptical Arthur was impressed. "How'd you do that?" Arthur asked. Hosea winked. "Old con man's secret."

As the show ended, Dutch gave a long speech about loyalty and dreams. Arthur tuned him out, but then Dutch pointed at the sky. "Look! A shooting star! Made just for us!"

Everyone looked up. There was nothing but clouds. Then a bird pooped on Dutch's shoulder. Silence. Then chaos of laughter.

"Well," Dutch said, wiping it off with dignity, "that's show business."

And for one night, the Van der Linde gang forgot their troubles and just laughed together. Even Arthur smiled.