The Wake of the Squid

The clearing in the jungle was a mess. Broken trees, scorched earth, and the faint smell of ozone and tentacle. Lizzie the Alligator sighed, her massive tail swishing through the debris. "Well, that was a thing."

George the Gorilla sat on a boulder, picking at his teeth with a snapped branch. "I still can't believe Cal is gone. That squid had serious anger issues."

"Anger issues?" Shelby the Tortoise poked his head out of his shell. "He tried to strangle Crock with his own tail. That's beyond anger issues. That's... creative."

Kingston the Cobra slithered over, his scales glinting in the dappled light. "And Crock is dead too, thanks to Cal. So now we're down two of the biggest jerks in the city. I'm not sad."

"You're always not sad, Kingston," Ralph the Wolf muttered from a shadowy corner, his ears flat. "But Crock was my friend. He taught me how to bite tires."

"He also ate your favorite chew toy," Amanda the Armadillo said, rolling onto her back. "And then blamed it on Rhett."

Rhett the Rat squeaked indignantly. "I am not a chew toy thief! I only steal cheese and dignity!"

Boris the Rhino stomped a foot, making the ground tremble. "Can we focus? We're supposed to be having a wake. Where's the food?"

"I brought shrimp," Ruby the Lobster said, holding up a giant claw full of crustaceans. "But I already ate half of them."

"Of course you did," Natalie the Nautilus said, her tentacles twitching. "This whole thing is a disaster. V.E.R.N. left a holographic will, but it keeps glitching and saying 'buy more popcorn.'"

"Wait, V.E.R.N.'s dead too?" asked Wally the Warthog, wandering in late with a stick in his snout.

"Yes, Wally, he exploded during the fight. Remember?" George said.

"Oh. I thought that was just a really loud burp."

Lizzie clapped her claws. "Okay, okay. Let's have a moment of silence for the fallen: Cal the Squid, Crock the Crocodile, Bart the Bat, V.E.R.N., and... anyone else?"

"Marco the Shark!" shouted Kingston. "Wait, no, he's not dead. He's just on vacation in the Bermuda Triangle."

"That's where sharks go to die, Kingston," Shelby said dryly.

"No, that's where they go to retire. Totally different."

Ralph howled, but it came out more like a whimper. "I miss them already. Even Cal. He had a way of making squid ink pancakes that were actually good."

"They were terrible," Boris said. "He used too much ink. My horn turned black for a week."

"That was from the fight with the military, Boris."

"...Oh."

Ruby started distributing the remaining shrimp. "Let's eat and remember the good times. Like when Bart the Bat tried to fly through a wind turbine. Classic."

"Or when Rhett got stuck in a soda can and rolled down a hill," Amanda added, giggling.

"It was not funny!" Rhett squeaked. "I had to live in that can for three days!"

"And you emerged smelling like root beer," Natalie said. "That's a win."

George stood up and raised his banana. "To the deceased. May their chaos never be forgotten."

"To the deceased!" the group echoed, though several were still arguing about the shrimp.

Lizzie smiled despite herself. It was a mess, but it was their mess. And in this insane world of rampaging monsters, that was enough.

"Alright," she said, "who's up for destroying another city in their honor?"

A chorus of roars answered.

It was going to be a good wake.